HOW 'NOT' TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

Hi, whoever you are, I have this amazing business that would be great for you. Here’s my site address – check it out.

Duh – why would I?

You know nothing about me, what I want or need and I know nothing about you either. To be honest, with an introduction like that – I don’t want to know, not about your business or you!

With the introduction of Social Media – Facebook and Twitter are two of the worlds biggest meeting places. A lot of people are trying to promote their businesses but have missed the point completely – it’s a social site. It’s a place to meet people, to establish friendships, make contacts and share information.

If you walked into an electrical shop and the assistant came right over to you, grabbed your arm and led you to the ‘special offer’ washing machine that was half price today, would you buy it? Probably not, you came in to look at televisions, but he didn’t take the time to find out anything about you or what you wanted. If he’d asked about your needs, showed you the televisions, got the one that was right for you, right size, all the features you wanted and you decided to buy it, he would then have established a relationship with you, he’d have impressed you with his knowledge and his genuine efforts to meet your needs. He could then have mentioned the ‘special offer’. It may be that yours is making funny noises and there’s always a little puddle on the floor after every wash. They have a great financing scheme and you can afford both of them – done. Everyone’s happy, he's got the sale and you’ve got a television and a washing machine, one you wanted and one you didn’t know you wanted. You didn’t feel pressured, you made the decision to buy the washing machine, you decided that it was what you wanted.

People are all different. They have different wants and needs, but the one thing that is the same in every person is that they make decisions with their hearts and then justify it in their heads.

I’m the same – I dealt with the same garage for years, I liked the servicing dept people, they always helped me if I turned up unexpectedly, the salesman knew me and went out of his way to find me the right car. One day, I needed two new tyres and popped in to the garage, while I waited I got talking to the salesman, he asked how I liked my car ( a different model from the one I usually drove) I said it was ok, but I preferred my old car. He grinned at me and took me through to the car lot, 'We’ve just got this one in, it’s immaculate, the colour you like (ok – I’m a woman, colour is important!) and a really good price'. He knew me well. I bought it ! I went home and had to explain to my other half how I’d gone in to buy two tyres and come home with a new car. I justified it in my head all the way home – this one was more practical for me, it was a great price and the other one wasn’t comfortable on long drives, I had bought it with my heart and justified it later in my head.

If you want people to buy into your business, your service, your product, firstly you have to build a relationship with them. They have to like you, trust you. They need to know that you have their best interest at heart, that you are offering them this product, service or business because you believe it is the best thing for them, not just that you want the commission on another sale. I’m not being stupid, of course you want the sale, but if you do it properly the buyer will tell their friends, they’ll spread the word and your credibility will increase and so will your business.

On Facebook it is so easy to build relationships, people are open to chatting, sharing and a lot are looking to either show you their business or are looking for an opportunity. The secret is to find out about them as people – look at their business, it may or may not be for you, or maybe it will work the other way and they’ll look at your business and decide that this, like the ‘special offer’ washing machine, is what they didn’t know they wanted.

The one thing to remember is that if you push your business in everyone’s face without making any attempt to find out if it’s what they want, they’ll just press the delete button.